Barely Sarcasm

Hey there friends and fans!

We're back in full effect this week with a NEW and INSANE edition of the Barely Sarcasm podcast. I'm in the bathroom practicing my jokes, playing some jambs and talking about life, love and the challenges that face us all... and about weed and choose your own adventure jokes. And if you're wondering about Lies About My Boner?  Don't. I have plenty of them for you. NOTE: My sleeves tore on this shirt so I cut them off and then I was the sassiest of all. (is there vodka in that lemon-lime soft drink? YEP!)

Keep your earballs peeled for a guest spot from Eddy T. Oriole the main bird with the word who does our editorials!

And listen up the soundtrack and tell me what video game the choose your own adventure tune is from and you can win a spot on the next 'cast.

And that's all for right now folks! Enjoy!

Email me, BUY THE NEWISH ZIPPER RECORD, fax me (206-888-6787), twitter at me, check out the blog and  subscribe on itunes!

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We got an oldschool classic this week you guys - that's why it was late.  It's full blasty and half nasty. What do we have?

QUICK LAUGHS (some really intense jokes this week, you guys!)

LIES ABOUT MY BONER

AND THIS GUY! (SEAN SCHEIDT) tells us stories, talks photography and even mentions Tersiguels in MD!

ALSO DON'T FORGET TO BUY THIS BOOK (click thru)

And that's all for right now folks! Enjoy!

Email me, BUY THE NEW ZIPPER RECORD, fax me (206-888-6787), twitter at me, check out the blog and  subscribe on itunes!

Listen Now:

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New Podcasts are new you guys. Let's dive in - I got some great bad new stuff this week.

1.) THANKSGIVING DAY TURKEY TALK - in which we pretend I was at your Thanksgiving dinner.

2.) Some good ol' QUICK LAUGHS (provided to us by Darren!)

3.) I perform a scene from CLONE SLAVES GONE WILD - a new 1 man show I've created.

4.) Bad Ass Of The Week is: THE GAY BLACK GUY THAT WORKS AT THE MARKET ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY HOUSE!

5.) LIES ABOUT MY BONER (AKA FALLACIES ABOUT MY PHALLUS)

6.) I flirt with you all and we DO IT ('till we're satisfied)  I also pimp the following things...

@TheEricGosselin and @JonWiener's podcast @Strangerfanfic because I'm going to be on their podcast tonight!

ALSO DON'T FORGET TO BUY THIS BOOK (click thru)

And that's all for right now folks! Enjoy!

Email me, BUY THE NEW ZIPPER RECORD, fax me (206-888-6787), twitter at me, check out the blog and  subscribe on itunes!

Listen Now:

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Happy Thanksgiving!

This week, in lieu of a show, we have some wacky FM radio DJ antics starring Mad Morris Mahoney (J$) and his Big Buddy Bear (Ewok) and then a super special guest playing some special tunes. Yes, that's right! It's a holiday extravaganza podcast commercial fest with love and lust and all that kind of thing.

Download now!

Email me, BUY THE NEW ZIPPER RECORD, fax me (206-888-6787), twitter at me, check out the blog and  subscribe on itunes!

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Say it to my face, alright? I'm here with earth shattering and world rattling news. That's right. This week I'm taking on all the dark, unreal, surreal and crazy news stories that are important and/or relevant to all of our lives. And yes. I am barely sarcastic during the whole thing.

Oh, and you know what else happens this week? WE have an amazing guest this week. My GF's oldest best friend is on the show (pictured above on a boat with my GF like back in 1991.) Yes. Why? He's a guru of nomadic stellarship space dust who just landed in LA from Hawaii. You know why? Because it's amazing. Just listen. We have stories on jokes on jokes with stories. They are in sandwiches - a la the sandwich islands? Yes again.

Do you love it? Do you?  I would if I were you. But then again, if I were you I'd also... Email me, BUY THE NEW ZIPPER RECORD, fax me (206-888-6787), twitter at me, check out the blog and  subscribe on itunes!

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WELCOME TO SEASON 2: ELECTRIC NEW GALOO!

That's right. I have fungeons and comedies and loves and musics and what not. I encourage you to go listen to the HALLOWEEN PODCAST from last week. It's avail just below this one. And then... Oh - I got something new!

1.) A new SONGIFY SONG by Adam Malamut as written by me, J$ and produced on Steve Pomerantz's phone in Rick Caplan's apartment!

2.) QUICK LAUGHS!  (that's right, real jokes by a real jokester!)

3.) A COMMERCIAL FOR DRAGON SPEECH RECOGNITION TYPING SOFTWARE. (Darren shows up)

4.) A couple jokes with varying results.

5.) A half-assed movie review for THE CHANGELING (2008) Starring Angelina Jolie and the guy from BURN NOTICE.

6.) I tell an extremely quiet joke.

7.) BAD ASS OF THE WEEK: The gay black guy that works at the market across the street from my house.

8.) LIES ABOUT MY BONER (AKA FALLACIES ABOUT MY PHALLUS)

9.) Finally, I wrap up by making a Michael Hutchence reference, playing some SPACEHOG and giving insight to what's happening next week... Then I beg for correspondence:

Did you know I'm a maven of music, correspondence and flavor? get involved and do something to get in touch with me! Here's how:

Email me, BUY THE NEW ZIPPER RECORD, fax me (206-888-6787), twitter at me, check out the blog and  subscribe on itunes!

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Hey there Hallowieners!

I got a new nugget for you. The official BARELY SARCASM PRACTICING STAND-UP COMEDY ALONE IN MY BATHROOM IN FRONT OF A MIRROR PODCAST Halloween show.

Yeah, it's better than god damn anything you've ever imagined or expect... so... Try to like it more than that. You can't. Here, here's a sample:

So listen up and tell your friends - it's less than 10 minutes, it's more than 5 and it's ALL ABOUT ENTERTAINMENT!!!

And don't forget about doing your due-diligence...

Email me, BUY THE NEW ZIPPER RECORD, fax me (206-888-6787), twitter at me, check out the blog and  subscribe on itunes!

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ANGRY PODCASTER IS ANGRY.  This week I just don't pull any punches.  I love you guys, but this is all about tough love and lessons in life. The world is a shitty place with terrible people who want to stab you in the heart and watch you suffer.  Or worse, they're indifferent to you. Those fucks are wastes of space. How many people do you know that just "live" huh?  Contribute something or GTFO, losers.  Alright. You guys know what it's about. Kiss my LIPS. #lovingyouviolently

1.) AHHHHHHHH

2.) SO FUCKING ANGRY - HERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF...

3.) MAKING FUN OF MY DOG (Zephyr)

4.) McLovin' gets Pwn3d in BAD-ASS OF THE WEEK (that's right Christopher Mintz-Plasse is on the show)

5.) Lies about my Boner

6.) I hate the Metallica album ST. ANGER

7.) I storm off angrily.

Support me because I'm at least doing something, you shits. FuuuuuCK.  Email me, BUY THE NEW ZIPPER RECORD, fax me (206-888-6787), twitter at me, check out the blog and  subscribe on itunes!

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Shhh... I know you're sad that I wasn't here last week.  Come on, you know it has nothing to do with how much I love you or anything like that... It's just - I've had a really hard time with my workload lately... My lady's mom was in town last week, it was her birthday (the lady's), I had a deadline on the novel I'm writing... Y'know - it's been really crazeballs, okay?  I just... I just want to get back to the way it used to be.  So hold my hand, sniff my neck and listen up to this schedule!

1.) I tell you why you should take me back (Boyz II Men style)

2.) Ryan Purtill puts me on the spot to make jokes about A SIXTEEN POUND BABY THAT WAS BORN IN TEXAS!

3.) STUPID JOKES!

4.) Listener Mail!

5.) BAD ASS OF THE WEEK: George Michael

6.) LIES ABOUT MY BONER (AKA: Fallacies about my Phallus)

7.) The Brand New Old Timey Radio Drama:  PODCATS

And then I just blow kisses and beg you to take me back again and always.  I'm not doing this for anyone but you, guys... so make it worth your own while and enjoy.  Sit back, have a glass of wine, run a bath, light some candles... and listen to the podcast.

Email me, BUY THE NEW ZIPPER RECORD, fax me (206-888-6787), twitter at me, check out the blog and  subscribe on itunes!

*musicthisweekby: BOYZ II MEN, JARVIS COCKER, ACTION CAMP and as usual... ZIPPER*

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It's week 18, and I'm soaking wet with anticipation... Let's just get to it, kids.

1.) Introduction and explanation of why my shit was down for a few days last week (and I blame Pilot).

2.) QUICK LAUGHS (these laughs are crazeballs... and sometimes stupid)

3.) Part two of the Radio Melodrama PODCATS!

4.) Lies about my Boner (Aka Fallacies about my Phallus!) *Featuring jokes co-written by staff writer BORIS REVECHKIS!

5.) BAD ASS OF THE WEEK:  Noel Gallagher

6.) There's a guest in the bathroom:  JUSTIN FIELDING.  The writer/director of INVENTORY THE MOVIE (twitter: @inventormovie)

7.)Then I blow kisses and bid you adieu!  (also, follow Ben - my bandmate - on Twitter... @wickedhahd)

You can't kiss the lipless and you can't fake a sneeze, not on my watch.  Love you guys! Don't forget to contact me so I don't feel so alone! Email me, BUY THE NEW ZIPPER RECORD, fax me (206-888-6787), twitter at me, check out the blog and  subscribe on itunes!

Listen Now:

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